ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PET'S QUALITY OF LIFE? Click here for your free Pet Quality of Life Scale and Calendar
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ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PET'S QUALITY OF LIFE? Click here for your free Pet Quality of Life Scale and Calendar -
Love and Grief
Palliative Care and Support for Dying Pets
Pet Loss Counsellor
Compassionate support during challenging times
How Will You Know It's Time To Say Goodbye?
Many pet guardians (I have trouble with the term pet "owners") have expressed that losing a pet is more difficult than losing a parent - this was the case for me. While this may be controversial to some, it is a reality for many. Deciding to euthanise your beloved pet companion can be an extremely difficult and emotional decision, but that heart-breaking choice is made to prevent further suffering for your much loved pet.
Quality of life
You’ve likely heard the term “quality of life” in discussions with your family vet or loved ones. Evaluating your pet’s quality of life is a deeply personal and subjective process, influenced by their unique personality, specific illness, and your own beliefs.
Just like humans, every pet experiences and responds to physical changes differently. Their reactions are closely tied to the progression of their condition, making open and thorough discussions with your veterinarian essential. I can accompany you to vet visits, helping to take notes during a time when the amount of information can feel overwhelming.
Are you concerned about your pet's quality of life?
It's not as simple as thinking that the time will be right when they stop eating, or that your pet will die in their sleep or that your pet will "tell you" or "you'll just know."
The LOVE AND GRIEF "Pet Quality of Life Scale" and "Quality of Life Calendar" are valuable tools to help you and your family evaluate your beloved pet's quality of life to help you make an informed decision, along with close consultation with your vet.
One Final Word
I completely understand that we want to have more time with our beloved creatures. They could live for 100 years and we'd want 100 more years with them.
However if you wait until the last possible minute to say goodbye to them, you will most likely face a panicked, stress-filled situation, racing to a 24 hour emergency vet at 3am. I'm not trying to scare you; it's a very real possibility.
If you don't want to be dealing with a sudden emergency, you may need to make the decision a little sooner than you want or are ready for. I understand that this is a horrible thing to read, let alone contemplate acting on. I understand, because I was there.
I am here to support you during this heartbreaking time and throughout the entire process.
“Until one loves an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened.”
- Anatole France
My Services
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I understand that decisions around end-of-life care for beloved pets can be an extremely challenging and emotional time. It is a situation when we can feel completely alone and what we really need is someone to lean on. I am here to offer a range of support options for you and your beloved pet during this difficult time. These can include:
Exploring palliative care options in your home in conjunction with instructions from your vet.
Introducing you to the Quality of Life Scale and applying it to your pet to ensure that they are as comfortable as possible.
Discussing options to make the most of your remaining time together.
If euthanasia is the only option I can support you in both your anticipatory grief and after the death of your pet.
Supporting you on the euthanasia day by being by your side or acting as a stand in to be with your pet if this is too traumatic for you.
I can assist you in exploring options when it comes the choice of burial or cremation.
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There are several ways in which one may experience the loss of a beloved pet. It could be due to an unfortunate accident, the natural process of aging, a debilitating illness, or the difficult decision to have them euthanised. Alternatively, they may have wandered off and got lost, been taken by someone, or surrendered for reasons beyond your control. The bond between you and your beloved pet is often deep and profound, so the grief that follows their death or disappearance can be overwhelming. In such cases, seeking pet bereavement counseling can be a helpful way to process and cope with the complex emotions that arise. This type of counseling provides a safe, understanding and supportive environment for you to express your feelings without fear of judgment.
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In your grief you may want to remain in the comfortable and familiar surroundings of your home, so it can be incredibly helpful to have a home visit. When you are overwhelmed with grief the last thing you may want to do is work out logistics, navigate traffic and find parking. Instead, you can sit in your comfy chair with your favourite cuppa - you can even be in your pyjamas. In preparation for a home visit, make sure you have a private space and you've let other members of the household know not to interrupt you. If there are other pets, ensure that they are safely secured. Finally have everything you might need close by - a pen, notepad, tissues.
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I can also give support and guidance in the following:
Helping you complete an Advance Care Directive for your pet.
Ideas for creating a meaningful memorial to honour you beloved pet.
Navigating "The Year of Firsts" - it's tough.
Children coping with pet loss, including suggestions around the age appropriate language to use.
Supporting your other pets - are they grieving?
Losing a pet later in life and why that can be a complex situation.
Navigating "well meaning" comments.
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My hourly rate for both Palliative Care and Support and Pet Loss Counselling is $95 - packages are also available
Sessions can be conducted over the phone, via Zoom or in-person at your home, depending on the situation.
Travel is charged at $0.97 per km plus the time it takes to get from base (post code 2131) to your home and back to base (post code 2131) charged at $35 per hour.
These charges are GST free.
PACKAGE PRICING
For ongoing counselling to support you through your grief or for End of Life Doula Support for your pet and yourself, packages are available.
5 hour package - $450
10 hour package - $850
PLEASE NOTE
Love and Grief is not a crisis counselling service.
If you are in a crisis, please contact
Lifeline on 13 11 14
or
Suicide Call Back Service 24/7 on 1300 659 467.
~ My Girls
~ My Girls
The loss of my two girls changed my life. I dedicate this work to Razzie and Cheeks.
Forever in my heart.
Razzie
1999 - 25 April 2013
Razzie came to me late one night. My next door neighbour was literally sweeping her into the gutter with a broom to get rid of her. I sat on my front step and called her over and she walked up to me, sniffed my foot, sniffed the front step and walked straight into my home. I could fit her into the palm of my hand, but she had the energy and presence of a lioness.
Around 4am on Anzac Day 2013 I was woken by a cry from Razzie. What ensued was a crazy trip down the motor way to the emergency vet. By 6am my girl was dead in my arms and I was broken. I drove to my favourite place and carried her body to the headland and howled at the ocean.
I wanted her cremated and had the option of someone coming to pick her up, but I didn't want to leave her. I was driven a couple of hours up the coast, with her on my lap, leaving her at the crematorium for most of the day while I sat in a park and cried. I then traveled back home with her ashes in a pouch along with some of her hair and a piece of paper with her paw print on it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't breathe. I broke down in the supermarket. I broke down anywhere when the tidal wave came for me. I went down hard and life got extremely dark, for a very long time.
Cheeks
2006 - 10 May 2023
I was volunteering at a no-kill cat shelter. After Razzie died I wanted to foster the most difficult cat that came to the shelter, love them, socialise them and find them their forever home. I did this to one cat, Rosie. Then Cheeks came to the shelter - we had rescued her from the pound. She was surrendered by the breeder, at eight years of age, because she was no use to them any longer. She was a hissing, spitting, scratching banshee - completely and utterly traumatised from her life as a kitten-making machine. I took one look at her and knew I had to bring her home with me. Cheeks was so desperate for love and affection but terrified and traumatised. I loved her hard and it didn't take long for her to love me hard in return. I signed the adoption papers a couple of weeks later - she was a failed foster. Cheeks was a special sort of magic that only I got to see.
Late April 2023 I noticed her limping. I isolated her for a week so she could rest, but things seemed to get worse. After a story from a friend about her family dog I had a scream inside me to take Cheeks to the vet and by that afternoon she was diagnosed with lung-digit syndrome. She had lung cancer and it had metastasised to one of her cat toes. I was told it was all about palliative care. All this happened in the 10th anniversary of the death of Razzie. My world fell apart and 16 days later I held her lifeless body in my arms after a home euthanasia. Two days later I dug a hole and buried Cheeks near a frangipani tree in my yard. I can't remember the first eight months of my grief - I wasn't sure I'd make it out the other side.
I feel that I'm qualified to speak to grief. That deep, dark and ugly grief. The grief that changes the very fibre of your being, never to be the same again. The grief that feels like you're being punched hard and you physically flinch to get away from the pain, but there's nowhere to go, it's just pain. The grief that feels like you're on fire and drowning at the same time.
My grief experience taught me that although people mean well, they can say some thoughtless things that hurt. My grief experience taught me that society thinks that the remedy to "fix" the pain is to get another animal. My grief experience taught me that how I was held, or not held, contributed to my healing, or lack there of.
My journey with the excruciating pain of my grief taught me some very important things that you must understand. No one can take that vile pain away. There is no "cure" for grief. Grief is an ugly beast that has its own timeline. And that timeline isn't linear.
The loss of my Cheeks and the deep grief that followed compelled me to complete a Diploma of Pet Bereavement Counselling. I did this for two reasons. Firstly, for self-healing and to better understand my grief. Secondly, so I could be the person for others that I needed on my journey and to help them to live with pet loss. I also opened up my work as a Death Doula to include supporting pets (and their humans) at the end of their lives.
I hope that sharing part of my story makes me relatable to you.
On Grief. On My Grief.
RIP
Never forgotten.